Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Hypoglycemia and Spirituality

Last night at 0057 hours I tested at 97, went to bed, almost immediately felt hypo, protested to myself that I'd just tested and felt fine, that it was my insomnia making me restless. I sat up and did some Sudoku, noticed I was having to concentrate harder than usual. Retested at 119 hours with a 31. In 22 minutes, my blood sugar had fallen by more than twice what my blood sugar ended up as. Gah!

I ate a little bit, felt woozy. I sleep wearing just swimming trunks and I looked at myself and said, if I were to pass out and be discovered my 'rents in the morning, I'd want to be wearing more clothes. So I got dressed.
Still feeling woozy, noticed an apple. Made a long long dramatic blessing on the apple, like this Thank you G-d for fruit that grows on trees! To apples! And and carrrrrrbohyydratesssssss... Thank you for keeping me alive! (long pause) Thank you for hypos!
Then I ate the apple and thought about the way sometimes going hypo can make me feel alive in a way that little else does, and about how sometimes it's just really cool to be alive that way, and how, when I was early into diagnosis, I felt lucky to be going on the journey of diabetes, if only because I was gonna experience all this stuff I'd never thought about before, and how my sense of wonder and gratitude for and around diabetes had slowly dissappeared.
How stupid I was to let go of that wonder! How foolish to buy into the idea of tragedy, when living in the wonder and appreciation for the differences and goodness in all experiences is much more pleasant.

At 153, with my blood sugar up to 72 and the Sudoku mostly done, I went back to bed. I woke up at 800 hours with a blood sugar of 102; perfecto. I took two fewer units of Lantus this morning anyhow.

1 comment:

moosetiki said...

Have you tried any natural blood sugar control products and if so, have they worked for you at all? There are a number of name brand ones reviewed by users over at http://www.nutritionaltree.com but they don't sell any of them.